I consider myself a smart woman, I watch catfish, have red flags when it comes to online relationships, turns out not enough or I’m just an idiot.
About two months ago a man found me through a lifestyle group on Facebook, a new Dom, eager, friendly, funny. I can’t say that we hit it off, he was pushy and demanding, thought he could demand my submission within days of talking to each other. I of course laughed and put him in his place, he learned quick, was so excited about the entire lifestyle. He also brought out in me a bratty side, the power struggle between us was incredibly arousing.
He told me his wife and 16 year old daughter had been killed in a car accident, this hit me hard in the heart because I have just recently gone through a devastating loss myself. We got deep, talked about our grief, our anger, the pain, he helped me through some rough days and he told me I have been a light for him, made him laugh like he hadn’t in the longest time.
I knew he had a fake profile, I asked him for his real name and he gave it to me, I looked and looked and couldn’t find anything on him or his deceased wife. I asked him to send me a pic of his driver’s license with everything covered up but his name. He sent it but covered everything except the pic and his signature which wasn’t the name he gave me. He had a story to go along with this, a complicated one that I bought for a while.
He introduced me to his step brother, we had some great talks, his brother pumping him up, saying how great it was to see him happy, telling me personal things about him. I blocked the widow because I didn’t want to get involved online again, I want real life or at least the option for it when I am ready and I knew I could really like this guy. That didn’t last long, the brother was the widow’s advocate, asking extremely insightful and personal questions, encouraging me to talk to him again. Which I did, the pull between us was so strong!
At certain times we allow things to happen for whatever reason, I’m still trying to figure out why I did. One of the widow’s fantasies was to have a scene with his step brother to show his sub off, his control over her, also he wanted to learn from him since his brother has been in the lifestyle longer than him. I’ve never done anything like that, it was fun and hot and a bit awkward at times and they loved it. We did another scene, where I followed all orders from the brother and the widow lurked. It changed when the widow thought for the next session he could give total control of me over to his brother, that I would do whatever he said, whenever he said. I was so pissed and felt my trust had been violated, you work so hard to earn my submission and then think you can just hand it off?? Yeah NO.
This is where it gets a bit tricky, I had asked the widow for a face pic with his fingers up several times and he kept saying no and I kept talking to him. I made a video and sent it to him, trying to drive my point home, I trusted him enough to send face pics, send video and he wouldn’t, so who trusted who more? I asked him one final time for the pic, he said no and I blocked him for the last time. Today his brother emailed me, wanting to chat again (play) on his email to me he left his real last name.
The entire time talking with both of them I had been unsure who was real and who was fake or was it the same person? But how could that work in a group chat?? I brought up being catfished several times and they both laughed me off and I continued to talk to them. Today I found the “brothers” real profile and after searching and searching I found the widow. A man with the same first name, same pics, happily married with children who passed away in May of this year. I am…so fucking pissed and sick to my stomach, who does such a thing?? Who uses such a sad story and steals a dead mans pictures? Not to mention all the pictures I shared, the things I talked about, the things I allowed to happen.
I feel so…stupid and violated and feel such a sense of loss, think that could be my never ending grief triggered for the happy family that is now broken. I feel like it is my duty to tell the family, I sure as hell would want to know! I have contacted the wife and as delicately as possible will tell her. It makes me so incredibly sad that there are people in the world who do such things.